BEN JOHN SMITH - THREE POEMS
1.
The radio is on
and when the water level
gets too high
I just let it splash onto the floor.
I have been playing
so much
World of war
I think I may
have shell shock.
I never get the recognition
I deserve,
I pretty much
won World War Two
single handedly.
I used to pretend to forget
my bathers for
school swim days
cause I was afraid
of my body
but now all I
want to do
is be naked.
She always
Says before a party
“Please babe,
your aloud
to have a
good time
but the girls don’t
always want to
see your dick
all the time.”
And I’m pretty sure their
boyfriends think
you’re a fucking
small dicked
scum bag.”
There is a
spastic beside
the bus
and he is marveled
by a flower.
He spins it in his fingers
and watches in the sun
with bug eyes
and his retarded
mind.
He laughs
a retarded laugh.
Smiles a retarded smile.
College students
walk by with a cigarette
and iphone.
They complain about
politics
and art
and spelling.
The bus leaves
and
I leave the genius
to his flower and
the complaining to
the fools.
People always tell me
that my mum is hot
I tell them to shut up
but I still feel stupid
cause deep down
I know they are
right.
Deep down is
where it always
feels stupid.
I’m pretty sure
I’m going to be happy
one day.
Happy or gay.
Possibly gay
but only
in a happy way.
If I was gay
I’d want to be with
either Elvis
or Kanye West.
Not sexually.
I’d just like to hang out
with them and play Xbox.
Maybe drink a few beers
and just see
where the night takes us.
I wouldn’t want to be
with Usher,
that’s for sure.
I’m insecure
enough already.
I’m certain
people hate me
on Facebook.
Strangers like
my status
but my friends
are all stuck up ass holes.
My status
at the moment is
“Ben,
Did you just
put spray tan
on your dick”
but don’t quote me
on any of this,
I’m paraphrasing,
It’s what I do,
you see.
My sister
thinks I should
do calisthenics
because I have
sexy long legs
and a good turnout.
It’s like when people
tell you that
they would make brilliant
piano players
because they have
skinny fingers.
They wouldn’t.
Well,
they could be
if they wanted to learn.
But they won’t.
They never do.
We live in them
moments.
The moments that
never happen.
We could always
be better than
we are.
Shit…
I could have been a porn star
if I had a bigger dick,
more stamina
and was confident to
fuck on film.
Maybe if
I could fit
a traffic cone
into my asshole.
My mum once said
You can be anything you want
I said I want to be Jim Morrison.
She said
anything except Jim Morrison,
You will never be as cool
as Jim Morrison.
2.
I think all writers
That are going no where
who read to empty
audiences
who self-publish
volume after volume
of their collected
poetry
are
hanging on that
dying hope;
a hope
that maybe one day
when they (i) am dead
people who buy their (my) poetry
they (i) can drunkenly
point at their (my) book
on a shelf
at a dinner party
and say
"I saw that guys dick
So many times
I could draw a picture
Of it."
3.
THE STICK UP
Have you ever had diarrhoea so bad you shit a bit
On your own dick
Take a minute
To Think about that
I get really stressed that Kim Kardashian
Might not get along with Beyoncé
And maybe her and Jay Z feel awkward about it
I stayed in bed ‘till 3pm watching the Ray J
Sex tape on Repeat But I didn’t wank
Cause that would
Be like
Fucking a friends
Wife
If I could change one thing about my wife
It would be that she
Would wear my jumpers around the house more often
Sometimes I look at my news feed
And think what the fuck are you awake at 2:40
Liking ANZ bank pages on Facebook?
I never understand people who take a newspaper
To the toilet
I haven’t had a solid shit since 1995
But I do drink a lot of
Wine and I’m also a compulsive liar
I knew a guy when I was younger who got so drunk he told me he once
Spread his ass cheeks in the bath and swayed back and forth
To see what it would feel like to be a woman
Having sex;
That drunk guy was me.
That bath
Was my mums.
I’m still floating around
waiting for the final kick.